Eat, don't sleep, rave in my cot, repeat...

If babes and dogs could talk, I'm certain that my two would be having this conversation right now....

G: Windog we need to up this sleep deprivation business.

Winston: But why? I'm quite partial to some sleep!

G: Because mumum thinks she is going back to work next week, and we cannot let that happen.

W: Hmmm, I see your point. I've enjoyed mother being at home for the past ten months. What's your plan little taileater?

G: Well you know how she likes her sleep, and I don't let her have much, well let's just join forces so that she has none. Plan?

W: I can see how this would work, but like I said, I also like my sleep....

G: Oh don't worry, I'll take the Graveyard shift, couldn't deprive you of both your daytime and nighttime slumber! I simply need you to take over when I need my 20 minute catnap.

W: This sounds doable. Do we have an exact plan so I know what I'm working to? You see I'll need to make up the daytime zzzz's to compensate.

G: Ok, mumum feeds me at 10pm, so you refuse to get off their bed after this, just to ensure she's fully awake. Then around 11:30/midnight when she thinks she's had a good hour, I'll start the grizzles. At this point I'll let her think that my dummy and Ewan have worked and I'm sleeping soundly again.

W: Good plan so far, sounds easy!

G: That's where you come in. You'll howl at the back door shortly after mumum has dozed again just after midnight. Do not stop, I repeat, do not stop until she's let you out for the worlds longest poop.

We'll let her have a cheeky half hour then, and bam, 'waaaaaaaa' I'll start again.

W: Ooh you are naughty!

G: Only this time, I won't stop, I am pretty good at doing a two hour stint. So that should see her delirious by around 3am. Now, given she's decided she needs to wake at 5:30am so we can leave the house by 7, I reckon one more howl by you around 4:30am should seal the deal.

W: Ummm couldn't you take the last call, I'll be shattered by then! 

G: Well contrary to popular belief I do need an hour or two of beauty sleep.

W: Pretty please! You can chase my tail???

G: Ok, so long as you let me suck it? Plan of action 'make mummy think she can't possibly go back to work on so little sleep' starts in t minus 8 hours.... 6 nights should do the trick!