It was a 4 stickers, McDonald’s and new nightie kind of morning!

Why have three appointments on separate days when you can have them all at once? In theory it seemed like a good idea: less parking fees, only one day of the holidays interupted and only one bout of anxiety for my babe. But when one of the appointments involves a blood test, one appointment would have been MORE than enough! 

I’d even thought we’d managed to save time by getting the magic cream applied prior to the hearing test. But no, we spent the entire morning at the hospital. Her least favourite place. I didn’t even have my morning cuppa. I could have REALLY done with my morning cuppa (perhaps laced with brandy!). Especially given that it took 3 veins, and a needle ejecting itself from G’s hands to get just a few drops of the red stuff. 

Twenty minutes of screaming and being begged to go home, and we finally left the paediatric unit (with G clutching a new Frozen nightie that the play specialist had given her). Unfortunately we then needed to head back to Ear Nose & Throat for an appointment with the consultant ... what G didn’t need upon arrival to ENT was two student doctors wanting her entire medical history, and using her as a mini case study. Thankfully their enthusiasm, kindness and abundance of stickers ensured that G became a willing participant. She even showed off her war wounds from the various blood test attempts! 

So to summarise today’s events:

- G has had such a bad run with her left ear that her hearing is now slightly impaired, and she is on a three MONTH course of antibiotics. Then if all else fails, next stop is grommets (can you imagine the angst a cannula would bring?!). 

- When the needle slips out of the good vein, and several more veins need stabbing, no amount of blowing bubbles and Julia Donaldson stories will bring about calm.

- Appointments don’t get easier with age, the screams just get louder, and the restraining trickier. 

- McDonald’s chippies still have the ability to turn my girl’s day around! Thank you Golden Arches. Though may I suggest you source some of the strong stuff to slip into mummy’s Coca Cola next time...

And when I next get questioned about whether my daughter needs to have her bloods taken in the Paeds unit with a play specialist present, as opposed to the path lab, I shall let G to scream for around 20 minutes and then let them make up their own minds.

In other news:

- We had an AMAZING time away at the seaside. You can’t beat family time, wildlife and the sea air. 

- Mummy has a new job. Just a couple of hours a week, no stress, no hassle, no childcare, no planning marking or assessment. One day, one day maybe I might return to teaching. But then again I might not. 

- G is back to see the endocrine specialist in June-top of the hit list is growth, constant tummy aches, high blood pressure (and that’s not mine!), and blood work results.

- Little H has his surgical consultation in June. 

- Daddy has his surgical consultation in June.

- Mummy has a mini biopsy of a nasty in her mouth in June (I’ve been assured mini nasty is not so nasty and it’s procedural, that’s all.)

- Mummy will be rocking in a corner by the end of June!

Oh and I’m going grey. GREY!!!!!! 

Mental Health Awareness Week-Anxiety

New mum anxiety can be crippling. And You don’t need to be a new mother to fall victim...

When

When it’s easier to stand in the playground, head down, smiling at the baby instead of talking to others.

When it’s easier to invite friends to your home, than it is to venture out and away from your safety bubble.

When it’s easier to not respond to invites, and to just turn up if the mood takes you. Even though it probably won’t, because it’s easier not to.

When you think you can brave driving somewhere to do something, but it’s easier to turn around even though you’re seconds away from your destination.

When it’s easier to decline an invite to play group than it is to deal with the anxiety of going in to that HUGE room.

When it’s easier to find a reason not to make plans, or to cancel plans. Not lie. But find a genuine reason. The baby didn’t sleep. The baby is poorly. Too much washing to do. Tired. The baby needs to nap. Can’t upset the baby’s routine-Anxiety central waiting to detonate IF we upset the baby’s routine. 

When you know you’re leaving your babe in safe hands with a loved one, but attempt to eradicate every possible hazard before you leave, and then worry the whole time you’re out, about every hazard that you didn’t manage to control. 

When it’s easier to say no because saying yes means cramming that full-to-bursting brain with even more anxieties. Like how to prevent babe screaming in the car, like how to navigate around nap times, and school pick ups, and lunchtime, and, and, and.....

When in theory it would be amazing to ask that Mum friend to go to that all-singing, all-dancing, baby-must-socialise group, but in reality it’s easier not to.

When you CRAVE the company of other mums, to join them for coffee, to natter about how much your baby doesn’t sleep, how much he won’t eat, his first steps, first words. To share how crazy yet beautiful life as a mother is...but it’s easier not to.

When you’re in a constant state of agitation. You mind is thinking ten, twenty, fifty steps ahead. 

When it’s only 8am and you’re trying to figure out how to get the kids fed between the afternoon school run and the swimming lesson, despite the fact that you have over an hour, and manage to do it week in week out...

When you look at those gorgeous eyes, that gorgeous smile. When you know it’s all about them. When it’s warts and all. Anxiety and all. But TOTALLY worth it.

When.